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  1. Yep. He was definitely taking the pot.

    Yep. He was definitely taking the pot.
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    But I thought Springsteen was some kinda commie,...

    But I thought Springsteen was some kinda commie, leftist who hates America?
  3. That was one of my favorite parts of OTR driving....

    That was one of my favorite parts of OTR driving. And the things women will do when they think no one can see them.
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    You know those aqueducts they have all over...

    You know those aqueducts they have all over California? Yeah, it's like right up there with killing a spotted owl to pee into those. But my father in law, a man in his early 80s, will still take...
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    http://imgur.com/I33bFJl.jpg ...

    http://imgur.com/I33bFJl.jpg

    http://imgur.com/EfNN44Q.jpg
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    I think they should bring back bag phones.

    I think they should bring back bag phones.
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    They ratted you out, man.

    They ratted you out, man.
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    Yeah, people probably get more rat shit in their...

    Yeah, people probably get more rat shit in their Cap'n Crunch.
  9. Ok, I'm thinking if you have that many breakouts,...

    Ok, I'm thinking if you have that many breakouts, you have a piss poor security system. Or at least one of the guards is corrupt.
  10. As always, The Onion cuts right to the heart of...

    As always, The Onion cuts right to the heart of today's headlines.
    ...
  11. Most of the Southern leadership knew it. They...

    Most of the Southern leadership knew it. They weren't fighting to conquer the Union. They were just hoping to drag it out long enough to negotiate a settlement. Recognition from either Britain or...
  12. John Voight's accent in Anaconda was worth the...

    John Voight's accent in Anaconda was worth the price of admission. Whatever the hell it was supposed to be.
  13. That's a good representation of the school system...

    That's a good representation of the school system in Mississippi captured in one picture.
  14. My daughter's first teaching job (and this is in...

    My daughter's first teaching job (and this is in Mississippi, not Oklahoma) was as a high school biology teacher. What makes that absurd is that she didn't take anything other than the biology class...
  15. I have to admit, that's one of the funniest...

    I have to admit, that's one of the funniest things he's ever written. But, it's auto-correct's fault.
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    You must have been in Ada, Oklahoma.

    You must have been in Ada, Oklahoma.
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    Personally, I hope Dean Blevins never retires. ...

    Personally, I hope Dean Blevins never retires.

    http://imgur.com/dwUtnA0.jpg
  18. I find myself strangely aroused now.

    I find myself strangely aroused now.
  19. And one thing that isn't talked about much...

    And one thing that isn't talked about much anymore is how passionate many of the Confederate leaders were in their desire to expand the Confederacy to Central and South America. Hell, most people...
  20. It wasn't on the list, but I'd bet I saw Night of...

    It wasn't on the list, but I'd bet I saw Night of the Comet a few dozen times back in the 80s. Because, well, Kelli Maroney in her underwear.
  21. I only got 12. A movie has to be so bad that...

    I only got 12. A movie has to be so bad that it's good before I'll sit all the way through it.
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    I knew a few guys, and gals, who worked as COs at...

    I knew a few guys, and gals, who worked as COs at one of the "regional correctional facilities" in Mississippi. The turnover on that staff was unbelievable. It's not only a shitty job, but the pay...
  23. Yeah, I don't really buy that distracted driving...

    Yeah, I don't really buy that distracted driving should cover it. Make the penalty for texting and driving similar to the penalties for drunk driving, and I think you'd get some people's attention.
  24. It really is that simple.

    It really is that simple.
  25. In before Antebellum Thunderdome.

    In before Antebellum Thunderdome.
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    One other thing about my "prison experience" that...

    One other thing about my "prison experience" that seems funny to me now is how surprised I was that none of the guards or staff inside had any kind of visible weapon on them. I'm sure it's because I...
  27. Neither. Someone's gotta stay behind and look...

    Neither. Someone's gotta stay behind and look after the womenfolk.
  28. It's Bounce. He's kinda slow on the uptake.

    It's Bounce. He's kinda slow on the uptake.
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    Believe it or not, the only times I've ever been...

    Believe it or not, the only times I've ever been in a correctional facility was back in the mid-80s when I worked as a route salesman for a wholesale company. A couple of times a month I had to...
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    Did someone say gay abortion?

    Did someone say gay abortion?
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    And speaking of Back in Black, that 8 track more...

    And speaking of Back in Black, that 8 track more than any other was the soundtrack to the summer I got my driver's license. To this day, when I hear it I think about drinking Pearl out of a bottle...
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    Looks like someone is trying to recruit that Sims...

    Looks like someone is trying to recruit that Sims kid down in Hooks.
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    Oh, it does, but I think it would have been that...

    Oh, it does, but I think it would have been that much better with Bon on it. (Bon on it. That sounds funny.) To me, it sounds like a Bon Scott album with someone else on lead vocals. From that...
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    I always catch shit for this, but to me AC/DC...

    I always catch shit for this, but to me AC/DC died with Bon Scott.
  35. Oh, shit. The actual scientist is here.

    Oh, shit. The actual scientist is here.
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    It's just a bit of floating stool. Skim it off...

    It's just a bit of floating stool. Skim it off the top, and you'll be fine.
  37. Especially when you do relatively minor things...

    Especially when you do relatively minor things like unleash plagues and pestilence and kill their firstborn and stuff.
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    I'd much rather see a venerated old band call it...

    I'd much rather see a venerated old band call it quits than devolve into AC/DC Featuring Brian Johnson or some such shit.
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    Establish dominion over the known universe. ...

    Establish dominion over the known universe. Anything else is failure.
  40. Early civilizations were built along riverbanks...

    Early civilizations were built along riverbanks for practical reasons. Therefore, it's also reasonable to assume that those folks were very fearful of floods, and that they would incorporate them...
  41. He always leaves himself an out because he also...

    He always leaves himself an out because he also decides what is real, tangible and observable. Neat, huh?
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    There will be no revolution in this country, at...

    There will be no revolution in this country, at least in the lifetime of anyone now alive. People who think we are close to that point really need to get the hell out of the house for a while.
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    http://imgur.com/G5l7gqc.jpg

    http://imgur.com/G5l7gqc.jpg
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    http://imgur.com/cwHW0aP.jpg

    http://imgur.com/cwHW0aP.jpg
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    http://imgur.com/VF9wUDt.jpg

    http://imgur.com/VF9wUDt.jpg
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    I don't know if it's changed, but when I lived in...

    I don't know if it's changed, but when I lived in Vegas you couldn't get a decent job unless you went to the sheriff's office first and had a background check. Then you'd get a "sheriff's card" and...
  47. Well, now my seatback is in the upright and...

    Well, now my seatback is in the upright and locked position.
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    You can find them in the same book that describes...

    You can find them in the same book that describes "the exodus." You know, that event that should have been worldwide news and yet even the Egyptians, a people who recorded even the most mundane...
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    You mean water like in the toilet?

    You mean water like in the toilet?
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    Why we don't have no gentile centers?

    Why we don't have no gentile centers?
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