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My favorite calculus pick up lines:
1. I wish i were a derivative so i could lie tangent to your curves
2. I wish I were an integral, so I could be the space under your curves.
3. Let's take each other to the limit to see if we converge
4. Since distance equals velocity x time, let's let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.
I would be as tall as Ad in these!!![]()
The following users like this post: Aurora
So this guy is taking his girlfriend to the high school prom. And he's got a lot of work to do.
First he has to rent a tux, so he goes to the tuxedo store. But there's a huge tuxedo line at the store. Finally he gets out of there and realizes he has to go buy a corsage, so he goes to a florist. But there's this big long corsage line at the florist. Finally he gets the corsage and has his tux and he's gotta go rent a limo. But there's this huge line when he gets to the limo place.
Finally after waiting and making all the arrangements, it's the night of the prom. He picks her up and takes her down there to get in, but there's this huge ticket line at the door. Finally they get in and they start dancing and having fun, and she says to him, "I'm hungry," so he goes to get her some food, but there's this huge buffet line. He gets her some food and they eat and they're dancing again and she says, "Now I'm thirsty, can you get me a drink?" So he goes to get her a drink and there's no punchline.
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Celery Pheromones - Aphrodisiac Effects of Celery
Is it fact or fiction that celery contains aphrodisiac properties? Well, its actually false. Celery is thought to be an aphrodisiac by some people because it is thought to contain androsterone, a metabolic product of testosterone. However, it's just a misunderstanding of androstenone, which has a different structure to androsterone and is otherwise unrelated.
Androsterone is a human only pheromone. It’s use as a pheromone is born out of the fact that males with a higher ratio of androsterone to etiocholanone are more masculine. Thus, androsterone makes the wearer appear to be more masculine and/or dominant.
In humans, androstenone also has been suggested to be a pheromone; however, scientific data to support these claims are scant. The vomeronasal organ is an auxiliary olfactory sense organ that is responsible for the detection of pheromones as more than just an odor. Most adult humans possess something resembling this organ, but there is no active function. Humans lack the sensory cells that exist in other mammals needed to detect pheromones beyond a smell. Humans also lack the genetic ability to produce these sensory cells actively.
My favorite "knock knock" joke. You start it off:
not my ****ing joke, you yahoos!
*snickers*
The following users like this post: MoJoOkie
Terrible joke, Sterv. Terrible.
I heart you stev!!!
The following users like this post: stev
The following users like this post: jdmt37
So after Jesus was crucified... Peter was hanging around mourning, when he faintly hears Jesus calling his name... "Peter, come here." So Peter being an obedient disciple grabs a ladder and starts climbing to Jesus. He gets a couple of steps up the ladder when the Roman soldiers come and pull him down and severely beat him. After they've left and Peter clears his head... again, he hears his name being called... "Peter, I need you... come to me Peter." So again, Peter mounts the ladder and starts to climb... again the Roman soldiers appear, pull him down and thrash him some more. The soldiers leave Peter battered, beaten and half-conscious. After a while... Peter once again hears Jesus calling his name. He scrambles up the ladder and as he sees the Roman soldiers rushing toward him again... he comes face to face with Jesus... "Yes my Lord, I am here. What is it my Lord?"... as the soldiers approach the bottom of the ladder... Jesus faintly says, "Peter... Peter... I can see your house from here."
I just bagged up all the dog ****s in my backyard. YOU ALL NEED TO KNOW THAT ABOUT ME!