Naked Intruder, Pooped And ****d In Florida Home

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  1. #1
    Wailer's Avatar
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    Naked Intruder, Pooped And ****d In Florida Home

    Florida, always Florida

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...n_2533967.html


    Gregory Matthew Bruni Naked Pooping ****
    Gregory Matthew Bruni

    In Florida, there are violent people, naked people, poopers and ****ors -- but rarely is one man the total package.

    When Tony and LaDonna Land discovered naked carnival worker Gregory Matthew Bruni on their roof, the night had just begun. Bruni, 21, allegedly assaulted Tony Land, trashed the couple's North Fort Myers Home, and then defecated and ****d inside the house, WTSP reports.

    The Lands told police they were in their bedroom at around 7 p.m. Monday when they heard a noise that sounded like thunder, according to Fox 4 Now. Tony went outside and says he saw Bruni on top of the roof, completely naked. Bruni allegedly jumped down on top of Land, ABC 7 reported, then knocked him over by hitting him in the shoulder.

    The Lands say Bruni ran into the house, pulled a big-screen TV off the wall, and spilled the contents of a vacuum onto the floor. Around this time, LaDonna grabbed a gun and began firing at the nude intruder. She missed, and the couple called 911.

    "I don't know who the hell he is -- he's naked and he ran into my damn house," Tony can be heard saying on the recording.

    The Lands told authorities that after shots were fired, Bruni began whacking the mole in their living room before heading into their son's bedroom to rub some clothing on his face.

    When deputies arrived, they attempted to control Bruni, who they say was wildly flailing around and speaking nonsensically. They also discovered that Bruni had defecated on the floor in two spots within the home.

    At some point during the ruckus, investigators say, Bruni sucked up the contents of the vacuum, then spit it back out.

    Bruni was taken into custody and transported to a hospital for evaluation, where doctors reportedly told deputies they planned to conduct tests to determine "what Bruni was on."

    Bruni has been charged with criminal mischief, battery, occupied burglary and resisting arrest without violence.

    Let's Recap The Allegations Against Bruni:

    Got naked, climbed onto the Lands' roof.

    Attacked Tony Land by jumping on him and hitting his shoulder.

    Ran into Lands' house, knocked down a TV and spilled the contents of a vacuum on the floor.

    Dodged bullets fired by LaDonna Land.

    ****d in the living room.

    Rubbed clothes on his face in the Lands' son's room.

    Defecated on the floor in two places.

    Drank the contents of the vacuum.
    The following users like this post: smot poker


  2. #2
    Yasiel Puig's Avatar
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    What's it called when you shit and **** at the same time? Dyner, DIB?!?

  3. #3
    Sancho's Avatar
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    Was I not supposed to do that?
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  4. #4
    Did anyone bump the pooping thread around 7 on Monday?
    The following users like this post: suncoastsooner


  5. #5
    Bk2X's Avatar
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    Get that **** a shotgun!
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  6. #6
    Originally Posted by Romulus View Post
    What's it called when you shit and **** at the same time? Dyner, DIB?!?
    Efficient
    2 users like RockFlagandEagle's post: SoulRebel, Wailer


  7. #7
    tfoolry's Avatar
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    That was a monkey in a human costume.

  8. #8
    Aurora's Avatar
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    PBS ?
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  9. #9
    suncoastsooner's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Aurora View Post
    PBS ?
    The article said it was a carnival worker so I assumed 87 was visiting.
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  10. #10
    Originally Posted by Romulus View Post
    What's it called when you shit and **** at the same time? Dyner, DIB?!?

    Nirvana

  11. #11
    Wailer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Romulus View Post
    What's it called when you shit and **** at the same time? Dyner, DIB?!?
    Depends on the timing

  12. #12
    smot poker's Avatar
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    Victimless crime.

  13. #13
    barlowd's Avatar
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    Blumpkin?
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  14. #14
    Mississippi Sooner's Avatar
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    He could have been much more creative with the vacuum. I'm kinda disappointed.

  15. #15
    Nazgul's Avatar
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    Naked Intruder, Pooped And ****d In Florida Home

    What's DM doing in Florida?
    The following users like this post: soonerdm


  16. #16
    Look at it this way, atleast this time he didnt bore them to death about why he and his family are OU fans.

  17. #17
    McRib's Avatar
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    Naked Intruder, Pooped And ****d In Florida Home

    If I had a nickel...

  18. #18
    DIB's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by barlowd View Post
    Blumpkin?
    Maybe, Hanpkin?

  19. #19
    Anyone seen The today?

  20. #20

  21. #21
    SpankyNek's Avatar
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    Ha ha...they didn't find that other turd I left in the crib.

    Amateurs.
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  22. #22
    AcousticSoup's Avatar
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    Naked Intruder, Pooped And ****d In Florida Home

    THERE GOES MY HERO.....

    WATCH HIM AS HE GOES!!!!!!

  23. #23
    Mississippi Sooner's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AcousticSoup View Post
    THERE GOES MY HERO.....

    WATCH HIM AS HE GOES!!!!!!
    He's ordinary.

  24. #24
    AcousticSoup's Avatar
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    Naked Intruder, Pooped And ****d In Florida Home

    IN HIS LIVING ROOM I'LL JACK MY MONKEY WRENCH....

    JUMP OFF THE ROOF ON THAT SONOFA****....

  25. #25
    SpankyNek's Avatar
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    When I broke in the house
    I jerked off
    And then I dropped some poo

    It's true
    I love vacuums.

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  26. #26

    Naked Intruder, Pooped And ****d In Florida Home

    Originally Posted by Sooners2007 View Post
    Yep. Exactly what I thought. At least he didn't eat their faces.
    The following users like this post: SiggyPoke


  27. #27
    AcousticSoup's Avatar
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    Naked Intruder, Pooped And ****d In Florida Home

    All my life I've been searching for something
    Blowing my load on a strangers curtains
    A woman couldn't shoot me, but she came close
    Rubbing my nose on a little boys clothes

  28. #28
    sounds like a typical tuesday to me.

  29. #29
    OUrage's Avatar
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    Now that's what I like reality TV to be.

  30. #30
    jdmt37's Avatar
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    Wacking the mole??

  31. #31
    azwe's Avatar
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    Can you shoot a naked guy if he cums into your home?
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  32. #32
    bJ0's Avatar
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    i cant imagine the scene. i bet it was HIsterical.
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  33. #33
    Wailer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bJ0 View Post
    i cant imagine the scene. i bet it was HIsterical.
    If it were me, as soon as the ****er was arrested, no matter if he did shit and cum in my house, I would have to laugh my ass off.

  34. #34
    barlowd's Avatar
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    So he shot his wad, she shot her gun.

  35. #35
    OUHomebrew's Avatar
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    This is why I always practice with the "naked man shitting on my carpet" target at the gun range. I won't miss.

  36. #36
    drumhead23us's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Nazgul View Post
    What's DM doing in Florida?
    Apparently making a hell of a mess.
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  37. #37
    SpankyNek's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AcousticSoup View Post
    All my life I've been searching for something
    Blowing my load on a strangers curtains
    A woman couldn't shoot me, but she came close
    Rubbing my nose on a little boys clothes
    I have come back and read/sung this on three different occasions...still laughing.

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